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HOPE’S COLOR IS BLUE(Büşra Eryılmaz/Hikaye Dalında İkinci Olan Eser)

17-10-2017

HOPE’S COLOR IS BLUE

HOPE’S COLOR IS BLUE

 

My name is Zelda, this is the summary of my story. I am six years old and today is my birthday. But none of this matter anymore. They don’t celebrate birthdays here my mother said.  I bend my neck but I could not object because she was right it was not our home. Which house’s inside is bad or in which house’s ground is there mud and in which house is there only a bed and a blanket? This is a tent and not our house. I still do not understand what this place is, where are we, why did we have to leave our home and why we came here, I do not understand any of it. My mother just said that we have to leave our place, our country, our land, ourselves and we must live in this tent for a while. It is too hard to understand and I do not want to understand, I just want to celebrate my birthday. The memories from my previous birthday are shadowy but I am sure that I had a cake and a warm house with a roof. Then suddenly I recalled a sentence that my mother said and it stuck in my mind and I trembled. On our last night my mother said to me not to lose my light because it will be my guide, what did she meant by that and why did I suddenly remembered it? I did not have the light. That night was our last night and I never saw my brother again after that. I guess I missed him. My father had already gone, he had gone a couple of night before our last night after saying his goodbyes to us. He said that he left us to protect us, but I wish he had not gone maybe then everything would have been better if my father was with us. It was my first birthday without them and maybe the last.

 

Today was different from other days but it was not because of my birthday, there was another happiness that it’s hard to tell. We've been here for a month with my mother, me and my little brother. My brother is constantly crying and I can’t stand it anymore. My mother is trying to sooth Hasan, but it's impossible. Nevertheless, Hasan’s voice can’t prevent my happiness I will find a way to describe it. An aunt came from another tent hearing Hasan’s voice. My mother said that my brother is hungry that’s why he is crying because my mother cant breastfeed him.  Auntie said, 'Two tents away a woman gave birth, go and talk to her to feed your son for a day or two… and then she kept quiet. She didn’t also knew what was going to happen later, we had no one here other than each other. I caught up in the coldness of her voice and I was stuck in her surrendering, I could not see any hope in her face and this saddened me, I felt like a sapling, my heart was broken like a sapling, I think it was the footsteps of life waiting for us behind the border that stepped on all our saplings, crushed all of us and placed us to a side. I was startled with my mother’s voice:

 

_ Zelda, watch over your brother for two minutes.

Mom,

_ What?

Mom, I am hungry

_ Zelda, you do not start, do you not see that there is nothing that I can do?

 

I want to sleep. Everything passes more quickly here when one sleeps. I woke up with the effect of a good dream.

My favorite color is blue but my mother says that the girls color is pink but I insist on loving blue. In my dream, I am in the sky there I am among the shades of blue and shades of the sky, I am in an impossible place just as impossible as getting out of this tent and seeing the life beyond the borders, it is as impossible as reaching the sky. Even if we were forced to grow up early, I was still a child in my dreams, so the best happiness in a child's dream is to be in the sky. I was over the clouds, I bounced, jumped and I had lived it up and I was happy. Then I saw a balloon far away, I ran towards it because that balloon should be mine. I wanted the balloon and wanted the pigeon to let go of the balloon out of its mouth.

_ It’s mine, I found it first, but I want it to be mine too.

I reached out to it but it flew away

"It’s mine" screamed I.

I bend my neck desperately and walked towards where I came from.

_You are giving up quickly, this sky is the place everyone looks, so if we all share the same sky, then this world belong to all of us. Every time everybody claims something, even if it is not theirs, you don’t do the same thing, you don’t become one of them do not claim anything as yours if it is not. Show your power that you can share everything before you turn your back and show your courage to fight before you give up. In this world, we are all brother and sister, we did everything on our own by calling hostility everything else as 'mine.’ However, if people could have had savored happiness then they wouldn’t have called everything 'mine'. All these wars in the world are because of these; do you know that people only know how to fly balloons but not how to extend them. With every balloon flying, a lot of people become miserable, they are displaced and starvation and drought appears. People don’t know how to live Zelda, you will grow up and you will see the real life, the truth beyond the border will not be as easy as you'd think, first when you cross the border you will be a stranger then they will exclude you because of your language, color and race, they will fool you- or try to fool you- do not pay attention to them, do not bend your head down, walk erect. Do not give up, somewhere a light will surely be lit, follow that light.

Well, why would they do this to us?

_their reasons are so according to their own, you had to leave your own country because you were forced, they had destroyed your houses, your streets, you are the survivors, they have taken you and placed you on the borders, and you will come in when the time comes. That's when you will change the existing structure. You will be blamed in every system that changes because of people who want to benefit from you.

Some will know that you are not the faulty one, some who will not know, some will look after you some will turn their backs, because of calling everything ‘mine’, will leave you and them in a tight situation, most innocent people will get hurt, most of you kids will get hurt, do not give up.

But, but this is a great injustice, we did nothing to them. You will do according to their will Zelda, you will shake the economy, you will work for hours cheaply for the bread for those who will benefit from your hardship because of some pragmatic ones but nobody will understand that you are not doing this because you want but because you have to. You will be guilty for everything and you will get used to it, even if you fall you will get up again and again.

I just want to go home.

_You have been forced to grow, each one of you, but do not forget that you are different from them.

You will continue your life and your education at the same time. No matter what hardships you face on your way.

Do you understand me? Mark my words Zelda, keep hoping. Promise me.

 I promised, even though I was very scared of what she said. 'I promise'.

Good, take the balloon. Now it is yours, this balloon.

Then it flew away. I screamed 'thank you' from behind, but it had not heard me, it had already gone away. It is beautiful to fly balloons without fear in happiness, the contest of my smiles with the sound of the wind. I never wanted it to end; but it was over, I woke up. I wanted to re-sleep again I wanted to see the same dream again I was much happier there, unfortunately there is a real life and I live in it, stinking real life in a stinking tent ...

The people of the abandoned desperate real life perhaps, left untitled, the ones that can’t fit in any place and they are the ones left in the corner, even the stories are limited to three full pages, people who were forced to leave their land, condemned to it, we people whom our names are not even known and all of us are called ‘immigrants’, people of real life who have left a handful of deserts in the middle of the ocean ...Did somebody call us? I do not want to hear it either.

This is the real life of this place.

I hate truth I want my dream back. I do not know how much I cried.

I must been exhausted to fall asleep again.

I do not know how much the time has passed, but I woke up to a screaming voice, and I leaped from my place. Whenever you hear a scream, you will know that someone didn’t stand anymore and hanged themselves in a tent or got sick and died. I have come across with these many times since the day I arrived, but I always wondered: Which killer’s traces where these, ours or theirs? Under which stone is the answer hidden I would like to find out. I did not leave the tent this time because I knew it and I did not want to see it. My mum ran into the tent.

_Zelda run, she yelled.

I stared, what did my mom wanted me to do, why I had to see it. She saw that I was still sitting she pulled me out of the tent, everyone was running around somewhere, their hands were full, there was something like a white box, I could not read what was written on it, but there was obviously something nice inside because they were happy.  My mom hold my arm and started to walk fast while I was trying to figure out what was happening I found myself in front of a truck, it was huge and big fellows were inside of it and they were giving something to people.  At that moment I realized that they came to help us, indeed, as the pigeon said, there are good people in this real life. I went crazy because of joy and among the people. It was difficult, but I managed to get ahead of them. I looked at one of those big fellows and we came eye to eye with one of them and he smiled at me 'you naughty girl, what is your name?', 'Zelda sir'. He fondled my head 'you have beautiful hair'.

I remember my mother cutting my hair 3 days ago, it was so much longer and beautiful back then, I do not know how  I look right now, I remembered the day I cried when cut it and I became happy that he told me that. He said, 'You've broken the line' and he smiled and said 'do not worry, I hope you will all get one, here take this that’s yours' and I did not wanted to take the box he extended,

_Why aren’t you taking it?

Well…..

Well, I want a balloon, today is my birthday, and I want to blow a balloon.

_A few toys have been given for the children, but I do not know if they have balloons in them. Do you want me to look for it?

Yeah. I want to hope, let it be there let it be there. I stood aside and started to wait. After 3 minutes he came to me and said 'sorry, there was no balloon in there.' The pigeon has deceived me it had lied to me there was no such thing as hope I started to run and when I came to tent I was tired of crying. There are only screams here, but today's was all because of joy, only I was the one who was not happy. People here do not speak much, I do not have many friends, I guess people here are all exhausted from both talking and friendship, that’s why I am writing so that I won’t consume my words. I will continue to write by keeping my nose to the grindstone with my last three pages. I will fit our big life on a three page paper and I will never forget this day.  Here the screams mix with the sea, then reaches to the mountain and stone, then turns to words and flies away. get into the sea, the mountain gets to the stones, then the word goes away. My hand will write until my heart burns dry.  This will be the summary of my story and one day somewhere somebody will definitely read it. I slept again and when I woke up this time it was the next day. My mother fed us. It was very good. I went out of the tent to walk and I started walking. A truck was seen far away, I was filled with happiness and I started running I ran, ran, ran. The truck stopped and the big fellows came down again. I saw the fellow who fondled my hair yesterday,

_How are you, Zelda, look what I brought to you.

He had nothing in his hand, what did he bring. He turned to the back of the truck and pulled out a bunch of balloons, I turned crazy because of joy, I took all of it from his hand, I hugged him and started running again. Everything was just like my dream. I was flying balloons like crazy. Now I understood everything better I would not lose my light. I stopped near a swamp. Yesterday was my birthday and I was going to blow that candle. I found three or five tree branches, and then I made a cake out of mud on a stone; I beautifully decorated it, I placed the candles and my cake was ready. I only had one wish and I wish my greatest wish. "LET HOPE’S COLOR BE BLUE AND SAY HI TO BIRDS FROM ME." Happy birthday, Zelda.   

 

 

Etiketler:
YENİ FİKİR HABER
BAŞ YAZI / Mesut TUNA
İdareci mütevâzi olursa millî ve yerlidir
YENİFİKİR HABER YAZARLARI
Mesut MEZKİT
İslam Adâletinin Kalpleri Fethi
Mehmet TURAN
Türkçülük, Millî ve Milliyetçi olursa yerlidir
Gönül ŞAHİN MEZKİT
Gönül İnsanı Olmak Zor
Davut TÜRKKAN
Türk Eğitim Sistemine Yeni Bir Yaklaşım
AKADEMİK MAKALELER / YENİFİKİR DERGİSİ
Ziraat Yük. Müh. Mesut MEZKİT
Bilgi Çağında Bilgisiz, İrfansız Ve Tefekkürsüz Bir Toplum İnşâ Etmek
Prof. Dr. Feyzullah EROĞLU
Göktürklerde Yönetim Düşüncesi
Yrd. Doç. Dr. İsa ÇELİK
Manisa Kentinde Tarihi Turizm
S.Faruk GÖNCÜOĞLU
Herkesin Bir Kapısı Vardır Ki, Bu Kapının da zili Çalınacaktır
Doç. Dr. Celaleddin SERİNKAN
DENİZLİ DERSHANECİLİK SEKTÖRÜNDE MİCHAEL PORTER’IN REKABET GÜÇLERİ ARAŞTIRMASI


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